2013 was a, for lack of a better word, awful year for me.
No where near as bad as many others out there I realize, but life altering nonetheless.
But one can only go up from here right?
So I've made a list of some things that I am going to change about me-because I'm 22 and we can all use some changing-and I now have a better understanding of the things that I want and don't want in my life anymore. (Not in any certain order)
I'm sharing this because many people know how royally I've screwed up 2013. OK...the past few years.
- I will only say what I mean and I will mean everything I say. This sounds very fundamental and everyone likes to think they do this but they don't. I will say "I would do anything for you" and literally do anything. I can't say "I'd live in a box as long as we're together" because frankly, that will never be true. For anyone. "My life is over." No it's not. "I hate you" No I don't. "I love you" Yes, I absolutely do. And the only person who is allowed to be "my life" is Nick.
- I will finish everything I start-to completion. From arts n' crafts to college to this blog.
- Focus only on the absolutes in my life. Everything else can wait. Being held at night isn't a priority when you cant pay bills or still live at your parents house with a toddler.
- Love everything 150% without hesitation or fear of judgement. I will not let anyone's opinions sway my decisions when it comes to the people and things that I love and feel strongly about.
- I will be who I want to be, and not what is expected of me. One of the biggest mistakes I made last year was putting the pressure on myself to be who I thought I needed to be in that position. And that began my downfall. I am who I am, and if I don't want to do laundry or go to the gym, I don't have to and I won't feel guilty about it or afraid I'll be left.
- I will get closer to God and understand His love for me and live it everyday. I do believe God puts things in our life to test us, because of love. If something didn't work out its to prepare me for something greater. And I want to know what that is.
- Only do things that I love. Things that I am proud to tell others about. If I don't love it, it won't last.
- Be more positive about life, share more positive stories. Just because bad things happen doesn't mean that they will ALWAYS happen. Being hurt happens once then the world goes on, it's hard, but it goes on. No need to dwell on how mean that person was, or how you could have done something differently to change the outcome.
- Make more positive stories. I only seem to tell downtrodden and exasperating stories. And when I think about it, it's because I don't do anything bright and worth celebrating. Do things worth celebrating and talking about with positive connotations. (Like a blog?)
- Take better care of myself and Nick. Eat right, work out more. (1 mile is great, 2 is better) It's time to break Nick's picky eating as well. I have many plans to change this and finally get him to eat things other than chicken nuggets and grilled cheese.
- Watch Nick play sports and cry at every game. This is what I was most excited about when I found out I was having a boy. And this is the year!
- Don't be afraid to cry. Because it happens quite often these days. Especially during Pitch Perfect, because for me that's inevitable.
My goal for this year (and this blog) is to act on these things and be held accountable for them. I have a lot of craft, money saving, kid friendly, single mom, full time student, full time job, experiences that I need to share.
So make 2014 a better one. I know I will.
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